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This One's Mine by Allie York6/29/2023 ![]() ![]() A few neighbors are on their porches now, enjoying the show. “You lying, cheating, sack of shit!” I grab the cute pink watering can he bought me as a housewarming gift and sling it as a car pulls up. Danny raises his hands over his head and ducks, the shoe misses by inches and lands on the perfect green grass with a thud. I love you!” And those lying words make me chuck the shoe. Or maybe they knew his girlfriend was over and didn’t tell me. Oh well, maybe they feel as betrayed as I do right now. The same neighbors who welcomed us into their little circle just a few nights ago. “Out!” I raise the match to the shoe I already threw and back him toward the front door of the condo. ![]() “It’s not what it looks like! Stop and let me explain!” “It looks like you fell and your dick landed in someone else’s vagina!” I screech and pick up the next shoe. The hardback hits him in the chest with a satisfied thunk. ![]() Danny holds his hands up to deflect the shoe but misses the fact that I also threw a book. “I HOPE you catch panty crickets and they eat your sad little dick off!” Not my most elegant insult but paired with me throwing a size thirteen shoe at his stupid head, it packs a punch. ![]()
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